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Get rid of those RATS of FEAR and REASONS and start living…
Conversation with Yourself
This just means take a moment and ask yourself, am I living the life I want to live with abundance, joy and happiness. When taking this moment, cut off your cell phone, computer, home phone and any other way you could be distracted and sit quietly. Review all areas of your life that you feel are important, relationships, career, financial, health, spiritual and others you may want to add. If an area gives you a feeling of distress, just note that in your mind. Try not to judge and condemn yourself. Note the areas you feel great about as well. Sit with this for a few minutes, you may be able to sit for ten minutes or two minutes, however long it takes do this exercise until you get through each area of your life you want to evaluate.
Record It, this means write it down.
Think about what living One Jazzy Life would mean to you, because it is different for everyone. Speak to yourself about what you want to do, what impact you want to make on the world and what difference this will this make for you and those you love. Take a moment and record on paper exactly what your One Jazzy Life would look like in one year and in five years. Create a colorful vision for each of the areas that are important to you and be free with this. By free I mean for you not to limit yourself to what you think is possible but create the best of the best for yourself and say it out loud.
Making Room for The New
In this step you speak to yourself about swapping out some of the old habits and replacing them with new habits and rituals that will support the newly created vision of your life. I am not saying drop your husband or partner of ten years but I am saying evaluate if they are a part of your vision and how they can support you and then use great speaking skills to talk with them about your direction.
Managing Your New Direction
For every great habit you will create there will be at least three people in your life who will not understand what you are doing or why. I am not saying that you should get rid of those people but I am saying that you may want to guard your vision. The old folks might have said to “keep it close to the vest”. You don’t need to speak to everyone about what you are up to; they will see by your deeds that things in your life are changing for the better.
Use What You Already Know
By this I mean for you to remember those conversations you have had with your aunts, grandmothers, sisters and moms where they would share little sayings like ” you know you need to get some rest” or ” you can’t get something for nothing.” I am sharing this to say that at some point you may have stopped listening to those conversations that built you up and gave you confidence and then doubt began to creep in and lay down some roots. I am requesting that you remember some of those conversations that have gotten you through and begin to apply them to implementing actions to make your vision a reality. Write a few in the comments sections so we can all learn from them.
Don’t just identify your vision that is not enough and it will only leave you feeling unfulfilled. Now you have to step out on faith and take some actions. I recommend you start with swapping one habit that does not support your vision with one that does every week and keep this going for three months and see how you feel. Actions take discipline. You may have frequent conversation with yourself to add affirmations, visualizations, meditation and much more to keep yourself inspired and accountable for results. Actions create an aura around you that will attract opportunity.
The final step is saying yes. When an opportunity presents itself, it may not be what you thought but you have a good feeling about it, say yes.
Let me know what you’re doing in the comments section. If you need support just hit reply or shoot me an email at email@example.com.
The Urban Girls Speak Up is a transformation system that is personalized and I invite you to click this link to schedule a complimentary 30 minute Discovery Session to start the conversation about how to invest your time to reflect to attract the opportunities you desire.Read More
The RATS of procrastination, lack of confidence, poor eating habits and inaction…. the list could go on and on are everywhere in our lives. Clients work with me to speak up and align their actions each day so that these RATS don’t keep them from living fully the authentic One Jazzy Life they are meant to live.
There are many strategies you could use to put your RAT in its place and these are three common strategies my clients use.
1. Begin with the end in mind. For example, if you fear networking and you know it is the fastest way to meet people and learn about new opportunities as well as demonstrate your value in the market place, decide in advance how long you will stay at networking functions and leave ring when you have fulfilled your commitment to yourself.
2. Define the skill gap and learn that skill. By this I mean, you lack confidence when you sit down to do your home work, and this doesn’t matter if you’re in middle school or graduate school. How come you don’t understand the work? What is it you don’t understand? It is your responsibility to ask for help so you can confidently complete your work. this can be applied to your job as well. In a nut shell, ask for help and learn what you need to learn.
3. Plan, Plan and Plan. So many of you do not plan. You have no idea what steps need to be taken to get from point A to point D so you never arrive. This could be as simple as sitting down for 30 minutes and reviewing your week and accessing how much time you will have to prepare your meals and choosing healthy meals to prepare that week that fit into your schedule.
There are RATS everywhere that can keep you from executing. You can use your voice to Speak Up and say to that RAT, whatever it is, hey “I’ve got you covered and you’re not going to derail me today because I am prepared”.
The RAT that rears its ugly head with my coaching clients is the RAT of “lack of confidence in your ability to really achieve your dreams”. The media feeds this everyday with the nonsense on how tough it is to find jobs, how unhealthy your eating habits are and how poor you are and how you should just be lucky to be breathing. It is sad to listen to, maybe that why I recommend a TV and media diet from time to time.
Use your dreams to create the life you desire and little by little build your confidence in the fact that this dream is attainable pulverizing your RATS and executing a few of these strategies.
Let me know which you plan on doing in the comments below.
Cheers to living One Jazzy Life
As many of you know I have made my living by selling the benefits of medicine to doctors for more than a quarter of a century. One of the hidden joys of this type of work is that I have learned to have conversations with everyone on just about everything from diabetes, depression, erectile dysfunction and schizophrenia and how each of these can change your life.
Build a bridge between you an the person with whom you are speaking.
This 76-year old Jewish retired judge from Brooklyn started talking to me about sales and did what all great sales people do, he said that he understood my job in a way because he used to sell legal services. This is a conversation skill I like to call building a bridge between you and the person with whom you are speaking. It’s step one to a good conversation.
Relate your life experience to the conversation
The he went on to talk about a movie he had seen about medicine sales people, another great conversation skill. He related his life experience to our conversation with humor and sincerity about how much he enjoyed the movie. We laughed about the movie because everyone talks about this particular movie to me because it was about the pharmacuteical industry.
We went on to talk about friendships, romantic relationships and being happy in life. His experience with Internet dating down right cracked me up when he talked about turning 70 and having all of his matches drop off. We laughed about this because women don’t want men over 70 because they think they will make great intimate partners.
Be authentic and give genuine compliments.
He commented on me in the form of a compliment saying that he did not know me from anyone but that I was easy to talk to, had a great sense of humor and was an overall nice person. He told me about his girlfriend who is 61 and that they are like 35 year olds in the bed room. He shared that they are learning Italian and preparing to go to Tuscany for a few years together. In my mind I was thinking 76 year old men were not having sex anymore, well I was pleasantly surprised to know that I have many more years of good loving that for some reason I thought would end at some weird age because women don’t have sex when they get older. What do I know?
Why is this conversation important to you, well I hope it shares that you can meet new people and hear new perspectives about common experiences that add value to your decision making processes when you least expect it.
Strike up a conversation with someone new today by building a bridge between you and that person then adding a tidbit from your life experience and watch how the conversation becomes easy and enjoyable.
Lets face it, life can beat you down and you may be feeling like everyone else is supposed to be rich, gorgeous, famous and really nice. In the real world you many have noticed that in each of the circles with which you interact you may find those who are at the top of their professional game however, they are overweight and unhealthy.
If this woman is you, you’re not alone and, your conversation is centered on all the cool stuff you’re doing at work that does not give you the time for mundane task of taking care of your body. All this conversation about the time you can’t spend cooking healthy meals and exercising for a half hour a day impresses on the mind that you don’t want this because all you are talking about is how you don’t have time for health.
If you tweaked your words to include what you’re doing integrate health into all the cool stuff you are doing each time you speak with others, the mind begins to hear what you are doing and makes space for this to happen through your actions.
Speaking to others is important and so are the words you use, so this week be aware of the words you are using and the picture those words are painting in your mind. Remember that girls are watching you and learning you to build their self confidence and self esteem by looking at you and your actions weather you know it or not. Show them how to handle their business by putting their best foot forward in their conversations each day.
Another way you can speak up in your personal life is by taking time to, as the kids would say, “do you”. Personally, you may want to take a cooking class, attend a writer’s workshop or go to a movie of your choosing and again it is your job to Speak UP about it in everyday conversation. If you are the busy woman who has not time to do something you enjoy the conversation sound something like this with everyone you speak with. ” My calendar is so full I can’t fit anything else into my day with the kids, schhol, homework, my parents my man, I am just busy.” This is half true. Place in pen in your calendar time for you, it may be weekly, monthly, or biweekly, it doesn’t matter just put it in an honor yourself and don’t double book at that time. Then your conversation sounds something like this, I am taking my son to swim practice after work and going over homework for an hour but then I am reading my book for an hour before I go to bed. You get it the reading is your time, not to be taken by phone conversations with relatives about “nothing”. This is your relax time.
If the friends and people you are speaking with each day cannot handle the conversation about living your authentic One Jazzy Life and all they want to talk about is how they are living the life of “UN”, you may have to limit your conversations with them. This will naturally happen.
Have a great week and let me know how what you are speaking with other about this week.
Cheers, Janice Saunders
Speaking Skills Mentor to Urban Girls of All Ages
The life of “UN” is painful to watch so take these three keys and begin to unlock your One Jazzy Life using great speaking skills. Speaking to yourself and others about the life you desire is the beginning of UN to Jazzy. Don’t let anyone tell you that the life you desire is unattainable, or that you’re not qualified or you just plain old can’t do it because of some reason.
Your belief in yourself is key and believing that you are enough and what you are offering is good seems to be a good place to begin. Now grab somenting to write on, you need it to capture your thoughts.
Imagine you living your best life in five years by answering these questions.
Where do you live, how does your house look?
Who is with you, are you alone or with a family, and what do you do with your friends?
How do you spend your days, professionally and personally? At the end of each day what and who have you used your expertise to help?
Go into as great a detail as you can, right down to the paint color on the walls if you like. The better description you can make of where you would like to be personally and professionally the better.
When I first did this exercise one of the points I had written about was how I wanted my house to smell like good cooking every day and to be filled with those who love me to enjoy the meals with.
What is your dream? Imagine BIG.
Identify the gaps between where you are currently and where you desire to be. This is the time to focus in on projection. What will happen if you keep doing the same thing you are doing today? If you are building currently and like how it is progressing then that is an area you want to keep up the good work. However, if you don’t see yourself moving progressing in a particular area of your life that is important to you making your dream come true, then this is an area to formulate a plan to close the gap between where you are today and what would happen if you keep doing the same thing. If you need help formulating your plan email me and take advantage of a complementary One Jazzy Life Discovery Session.
Key # 3
Take action. Taking action is important to closing the gap. No matter what area you decide to close the gap in, action is necessary and so is your ability to measure how your actions are working. Weight loss is easy because you can add a healthier diet and exercise and I guarantee you will loose weight. The same is true in other areas as well, for example, if you choose to go back to school you will probably study for an exam, get a better grade, matriculate at a better school because of the good score you achieved and in the end be in the running for better paying positions. You must invest in ACTION, you may not see a clear bridge to where you want to go yet however, without action you might as well be going backwards.
These keys are to help you dream of the One Jazzy Life and focus in on which area you want to invest some time in to propel you to the next level. What I can say from experience is that is does take time and it does require Faith coupled with Action.
You can live your authentic One Jazzy Life and leave the “UN” life behind.
Leave a comment below and let me know what action you are taking this week.
Cheers to living One Jazzy Life
Janice Saunders, Your Speaking Skills Mentor
Your professional life is just that, YOURS. It is not based on what your mother, father, friends or preacher says you should do. All summer the Jazzy News has undertaken topics to help you begin the conversation with yourself about how to move forward on a personal/professional development plan.
This is key to living the life you desire.
Tip # 1 Think, ” I GOT THIS”
You have a big problem when you spend time thinking about all the reasons that you probably won’t have the professional life you think is worthy of waking up everyday and putting in ten to twelve hours for some days. INSTEAD of beginning the conversation with yourself by saying, “I’m equal to the best, I will succeed”. The words you use when you speak to yourself about success matter. Think about Stephen Curry, who is one of the shortest players in the NBA and won the MVP and just led his team to an NBA Championship, he I am sure began the conversation with “I’ll Win”, not “I’ll probably come in second, which isn’t bad for a short guy like me”.
Tip #2 Successful People are like YOU and they BELIEVE in themselves
Challenge yourself to start paying attention to your mindset around people who have a successful professional life. How do you talk about them to your friends and yourself? Are you conversing about how “those” successful people are not nice and they did and continue to do unscrupulous things to people to get and stay ahead in their career. Substitute that conversation with one that is true and centered around successful people being regular normal people with a belief in themselves and their abilities.
Tip # 3 Supersize YOUR Beliefs
Big plans and small plans require the same amount of work, that is a fact. Stretch yourself and believe you can achieve the big success. For example, in a workshop I facilitated a few weeks ago, one of the women shared she had three book projects that were in the works and my question to her was which could you see yourself promoting and adding to your income stream? She answered and put together a plan to work on that until it was completed. The energy she had when she left the room with a BIG plan that she BELIEVED could be executed was contagious. If you dream small that is what you will get.
Let all of us in Jazzy Land know how you use these three tips to strengthen your personal / professional development plan in the comments below.
Cheers to living One Jazzy Life
Janice , Speaking Skills Mentor to Urban Girls
Conversation Starter of the Week
Every now and then there is nothing wrong with taking a break from watching news. You may be thinking OMG I will be out of the loop, I won’t know what is going on and that is far from the truth. If something happens believe you me, someone will tell you about it as they share their tale of woe.
The news can be scary and can put ideas into you mind that make you assume that going for more in your life is not an option. On the news you see the poverty of other countries or the homeless at home and say to yourself I better hold on to what I have because there is not enough for everyone especially all of us people who did not go to Harvard.
Take a deep breath and start the conversation with yourself about what you need to do this year to Jazz Up how you make a living it maybe earn a promotion, land a position you love more than your current position or, simply earn more money by starting a business. Begin by asking yourself these three questions. Preferably when you would have been watching the news.
- Is the industry you are currently working in one that is in alignment with your core values.
Don’t just cop out with this by saying oh I get a check so everything is good, loose the cynicism and be honest with yourself. Many of you know I worked in Big Pharma for many years and this was not in alignment with many people even some of my family. It was in alignment with me because I believed and still do believe in the life saving power of science, so Big Pharma worked for me. Remember you can sell, market, manage, provide counsel or train people with any company.
- Dream up your jazzed up new position today. What would be your responsibilities, the outcomes and some of the problems you would be working with others on to solve?
You can say I want a new job but that is straight up old world lazy.Get busy looking at the core capabilities you do well and that you enjoy and match those to areas of your company.
- Begin by planning your week an including time for career and lifestyle exploration.
There is some unbelievable amount of hours you will be working for your entire life so why not include time to plan for it regularly and make sure you are in a field that allows you to earn enough to support the lifestyle you desire. Thank goodness the old days are gone where you worked with a company for 40 years and retired. I don’t know about you but that could go either way. Bored out of your mind or super challenging and you mover around to different departments.
Taking a diet from the news where “they” are telling you the whole world is headed for trouble in the next five to seven years is stressful. Every industry could go down the tubes in five to seven years. Don’t keep your head in the sand but also don’t allow this medium to make you not act from a position of strength.
Use your power of choice to make your moves based on what is best for you and your family. Take some time to focus your attention on your career/lifestyle and you will see results.
You would not be in Jazzy Land if you were not about professional growth. You can do it.
Share in the comments section what a home run would be in 2015 if your career/lifestyle was exactly what you desired.
Your professional life is important, the ripples spill over to every area of your life . If you would like to Jazz Up Your Professional Life using great speaking skills start by scheduling a complementary 30 minute One Jazzy Life Discovery Session . Investing the time in this first session begins to open your mind to your infinite possibilities.Read More
The three questions to get you on the magic path are
What are you passionate about?
Does your day include something you are passionate about?
Are you feeling healthy?
You may be able to remember approaching the one year anniversary of a big event in your life. Big events take form in many ways they are usually something you knew was on the horizon that completely connected with your passion.
My BIG EVENT
Last year I invested in attending the Jack and Jill conference because I am passionate about Moms and Mentors of middle school and high school girls creating and living the life they desire. This was a confidence builder for me. The business contacts and the connections I made encouraged me to do more in my business. So even though my current life requires I work not only in my business but in other areas to keep up my lifestyle, I feel great because I am busy doing what I love, teaching speaking skills to Moms, Mentors and middle school and high school girls.
Can you answer the question, What are you passionate about? My bet is that you can and then you get down because you can not do that all the time and make you high six figure income that you need to survive doing it right away. My gift to you today is a permission slip that says, yes you can do both and in so doing you will find the balance that adds more joy to everyday of your life.
Adding something that you are passionate about to your everyday mix is a blessing. There may be a list of things you are passionate about. Your job is to make sure you have something going at least one of those areas every day. Say for instance you are passionate about family, eating right, engaging women in the political process, your job, and of course your love life. Now every day you won’t be able to something in each of these areas and my charge to you is that you can do ONE a day in addition to your full time job. For example, you may have family game night on the first Friday of each month, the third Wednesday you meet with the women and plan on how to engage other women in the political process, then every Saturday night when the door closes to your bed room your significant other knows they are in for a treat. You get what I am saying, you can do something everyday to feed your soul.
In the feeding of your soul the last question you have to answer is Do you feel healthy. If you don’t, begin with an appointment to your doctor. Recently I went to my OBGYN because my cycle was causing me pain I had never experienced. The type of pain I told her I would do anything to get rid of it. My first thought was take out whatever is causing this pain NOW. We talked and developed some strategies for me to try before doing any cutting. That conversation with my doctor and implementation of the strategies she gave me has made me fee so much more healthy. This was easy, when you don’t feel well, go to the doctor and make them work with you to get better.
Line your path with supportive people who understand your passion and share it, with every hour of your day be intentionally involved in something that is connected with your many passions and do everything your your power to ensure your body is feeling good.
My intention for sharing these three questions with you is to gently nudge you and say you are loved, your passions and your health are important to you being on the Magic Path on the journey of life.
Keep your passions front and center, and send me an email if you want some support in speaking to yourself and the world about your passions and aligning your life with the direction that will make your days full of peace and prosperity.
When the girls you are Moms and mentors to really see this in you, it makes it easier for them to locate this joy in themselves. What a gift.
Cheers to living One Jazzy Life
Janice, Your Speaking Skills Mentor
Early Morning and Before Bed can make a world of difference.
Rituals are important. You may have celebratory rituals that create a sense of normalcy around holidays or birthdays. You can have that same sense of ease and peace around creating rituals that help you have great days that are productive and you feel wonderful on the journey. First thing in the morning is in your control. No one else is aware of those first thoughts you think or those first prayers you say before you even open your eyes to greet the day.
In the morning creating a visual picture of you being the type of person you want to be has made a huge difference in the lives of clients I work with and for myself. You can even create a word for the day or week that you want to embody in all of your interactions. While you are still in bed visualizing the person you want to be all day, you are on time, you have eaten a healthy meal, you have exercised, you aced your presentation and you are thinking about all of the people you might run into and the super cool out of the ordinary stuff that might happen as a result. This feeling makes you smile and have a great idea pop into your head that you know if you implement you will seal the deal on that job, promotion, investment or relationship.
The morning time is powerful, harness that power by taking a minute or two to incorporate this ritual into your day instead of getting up quickly, running out of bed and beginning the day without that quiet time. You may not get any quiet time all day so take it before your day starts.
Which brings me to before bed, another time that you control and very few people know what you do around this time. It is personal, private and very intimate time you can have with yourself just like the mornings. Journaling, and I don’t mean writing a novel and you don’t have to be Alice Walker in your writing. Just write five things you are thankful for, maybe a sentence or two about an unexpected gift that popped up in your universe that was wonderfully designed by the creator, a sentence or two about what you accomplished that day and why it was down right awesome and lastly I add an examination of my behavior of the day. I learned about this examination last year at a prayer meeting at my church and you don’t have to be religious to do it either. You simply look at your behavior and ask yourself if your actions, words or deeds hurt someone and if they did recognize it and try not to do it again.
In the powerfully ending the day prepares you for rest, you have closed the chapter on the days events and are ready to begin fresh the next day.
My challenge to you is to begin and end your day with these rituals for the next 66 days because that is how long it takes to develop a new habit. Comment below on how you felt completing this ritual today.
Face it, fear can cause you to stop in your tracks and never progress or take you forever to get where you want to go. We all know this feeling. You can read any number of scholarly writings on fear and the data around how it affects your daily living on Google scholar.
In the real world I have seen fear managed in three ways successfully.
Use FEAR wisely to
# 1. Keep you alert to new ideas.
#2. Keep you abreast of industry trends and where you can position yourself for success.
#3. Keep you training in your craft and establishing yourself as an expert in your field.
If you’re the type that has new ideas pop in your head every second. Devise a way to keep track of those ideas and schedule a time to review them and decide if any are worth moving forward on.
Keeping abreast of what’s going on in your industry might look like scheduling some time each week to research and read an article on your industry. Literally just one a week could help position you as a superstar because that translates to 52 articles a year and a tremendous amount of knowledge. This can only help you to help yourself and others on their professional journey.
Staying abreast of the training that experts in your field are exposing themselves to decreases fear. Do you need to sharpen the saw in some areas as it relates to your professional life? Maybe presentation skills, persuasive writing or selling skills might be training that could help you develop professionally and ultimately help you make more money. Sweet, who doesn’t want that?
When you notice fear, feel it and do the very thing that scares you because “Everything you want is on the other side of fear” George Addair.
Cheers to living One Jazzy Life